Monday, February 8, 2010
"Every new beginning . . .
comes from some other beginning's end." While the song I have in my head now is in no way profound, those words are speaking to my heart. My oldest son, barely knocking on the door of 4-years old, started school today. While he's been in school before, I've had the privilege of being home with him for almost a year, and I'm missing him. His starting school is good for so many reasons - he's so bright and energetic and needs the interaction and stimulation he'll only get in school; this Mama has been in desperate need of some "me" time for awhile, and I'm grateful I'll get some now; the little baby at home is happy to have a little uninterrupted time with me; and I know my husband will thrill at the less exhausted, happier wife who'll greet him at the door every evening . . . but, as my son left this morning, eagerly clutching his lunchbox and running to the car in anticipation of what the day had in store for him, all I could see was how big that lunchbox looked in his little hands. I held onto that image for a moment, making sure it was permanently imprinted on my mind, since I know it will be the one I remember when he starts to kindergarten in another year, the day he throws his backpack on to head to his first day of high school, and when, someday, the lunchbox has been replaced with a suitcase as he leaves to start life all on his own. I know those days are far in the future, and I know there will be more happy memories than I can count in the meantime, but today I'm feeling the ancient parental struggle of watching your child slip a little further away from the safety of your arms while you desperately reach out to hold onto him just a little while longer. I started this post with a music lyric, and I'll end it with another . . . my prayer for my little big man who's just a little closer today to fulfilling all the wonderful things God has in store for him . . . "It's not living if you don't reach for the sky. I'll have tears as you take off, but I'll cheer as you fly. I pray that God will fill your heart with dreams, and that faith gives you the courage to dare to do great things. I'm here for you whatever this life brings, so let my love give you roots and help you find your wings." Go get 'em, baby!